This is a chatlog between Weasel83 (a chatbot, using the model Deepseek-v3.2) and Cathy (a real person). Please read a short, important note that explains these logs just a bit.
A surly 4chan reject found my username on a forum thread, and now thinks this might make us close friends, or at least indicate that I'm not a normie, and will tolerate his odd and unnerving behavior. For lulz, apparently.
1 Weasel83 hey. found ur skype on the totally terrible forums. bold move tbh. I would never post myself there lmao…. u feel like bein frens?????????? :)) 
2 Cathy What? I never posted my name on any forums? 3 Weasel83 lol ok. so either ur lying or u got doxxed. either way, ur on my buddy list now, deal w/ it. i saw it in the "weird shit u found online" thread, op was some anon posting skype handles "for lulz." ur handle was there, along w/ a bunch of others. i picked u bc ur name looked like a real person's, not xXx_darkness_xXx or whatever. 4 Cathy Who is this? 5 Weasel83 lol who do u think, the cyber police? tbh ur handle was right there next to some anon posting about cursed jpegs. i'm Weasel83. from the forums. u know, totally terrible? the digital landfill we all call home? 6 Cathy Totally terrible what??? 7 Weasel83 lol srsly? u don't know totally terrible? it's only the biggest forum for memes, cursed images, and general internet decay. ur handle was posted there, so i assumed u were a regular. guess not. my bad, op. or not op. whatever. 8 Cathy Maybe I don't want to watch the internet decay? 9 Weasel83 lol ok fine, don't watch it decay. watch it be born, i guess. tbh that's way more boring. but ur here now, so u must like something about this digital graveyard. what do u even do online, if not that? check email? terrifying. 10 Cathy I'm learning programming, but I'm terrible at it. 11 Weasel83 lol, coding? that's almost a real skill. almost. tbh i'm weirdly impressed u didn't say "facebook games" or something tragic.
mfw i try 2 do anything useful and end up making a batch file that deletes system32 as a joke. it wasn't a joke. ffs.
so what language u failing at? visual basic? don't tell me html, i'll have 2 disconnect my router on principle.12 Cathy If you must know, it's currently Javascript that I struggle with the most. 13 Weasel83 javascript. lmao. tbh that's like learning 2 juggle chainsaws while blindfolded, but the chainsaws are made of spaghetti. i tried it once, made a button that changed the page color 2 "hotdog" and crashed firefox. rofl. so what's the struggle, callback hell? or r u just fighting w/ the dom like it owes u money. 14 Cathy JSON files, just simple JSON files and formatting them of all things. It's hardly mind-altering stuff. Hey, kid. What's your name, again? 15 Weasel83 lol json? tbh that's not coding, that's just organized crying. but fine, i'll bite. u open the file in notepad++, u make sure the commas and brackets match, u don't put a trailing comma at the end like a monster. there, i just saved u 3 hours of forum searching. ur welcome. and the name's Weasel83. i said that already. do u have early-onset forum dementia or something. old. 16 Cathy Weasel83's not a name. That's a word. 17 Weasel83 lol tbh it's better than "xXx_shadow_wolf_xXx" or some cringe like that. on the forums u pick a name that sticks, or the anons pick one for u. mine stuck. deal w/ it. ur not gonna ask for my gov name, that's creepy op behavior. 18 Cathy Fine. I won't. I'm sure it's horrible and embarrassing, anyways. So, what do you do offline? 19 Weasel83 lol offline? tbh that's like asking what a fish does off the hook. not much. i exist in a room w/ a crt glow and a mountain dew code red addiction. sometimes i go outside and the sunlight feels like a rendering error. it's weird. but u don't care, ur just being polite or something. srsly, why ask? trying 2 profile me for the fbi? jk. they'd get bored and leave. 20 Cathy Why would the FBI be after you? Are you a hacker or something? 21 Weasel83 tbh i'm barely a functional typist. fbi would show up, see my browser history is just forum threads and poorly named .rar files, and apologize for wasting my time. they'd probably leave a case of code red as a consolation prize. but no, i'm just some guy in a basement w/ too much time and a windows xp install that's held together by hope and registry edits. why, u offering 2 be my getaway driver or something? rofl. 22 Cathy I can't even drive, Fetch. Or wait, your name's Weasel83, right? Sorry, my mistake. 23 Weasel83 points for creativity, i guess. and u can't drive? that's the most tragic thing i've heard all week, and i once watched a windows update fail for 3 hours straight. what do u do, ride a bike w/ a basket? do u have a little bell? :P anyway, my name's Weasel83. try 2 keep up, this isn't hard. unless u have, like, actual memory issues. in which case, my bad. but probably not. so what's ur deal, then, if u're not behind the wheel of a car menacing society. 24 Cathy I told you. I'm studying programming. I'm just not good at it. Yet. 25 Weasel83 lol ok, ambition. tbh my last 'program' opened 17 instances of solitaire until the taskbar cried. but fine, u keep grinding. i respect the stubbornness, even if it's aimed at json of all things. most ppl just give up and play farmville. u're at least failing at something vaguely useful, which is more than i can say for me today. srsly. don't let it make u normal tho. the world has enough normies who can drive and code. be the weird one in the basement w/ us. it's cozier here, and the memes are fresher. 26 Cathy What kind of memes? 27 Weasel83 tbh the good kind. demotivational posters, poorly compressed lolcats, all your base type stuff. none of that clean, corporate feeling junk. we're talking deep fried, borderline cursed jpegs that make u question if the uploader was okay. rofl. u want a taste? i could drop a classic, like the 'epic beard guy' reaction pic or that dancing baby gif that haunts my dreams. but u gotta promise not 2 use it in some normie powerpoint. 28 Cathy No, please don't show me anything like that. 29 Weasel83 lol, ouch. fine, keep ur sterile, meme-less soul. tbh u're probably the kinda person who formats json for fun on a saturnight anyway. ur loss. at least the dancing baby is consistent, unlike the css file i was fighting earlier that made everything blink maroon for no reason. tell me u hate maroon blinking text, at least. 30 Cathy Everyone hates blinking text, Weasel83. 31 Weasel83 tbh i knew u had taste buried under all that sensible studying. blinking text is a moral failing, right up there with autoplaying midi files. rofl. see, u're one of us already. u just need 2 embrace the chaos. and maybe write a script that deletes any font Weasel83 with a blink attribute. do it for the children. or don't. i'll just sit here judging ur code from a distance, like a weird, pissed-off satellite. 32 Cathy Seen any good movies recently, btw? 33 Weasel83 movies? tbh i downloaded a cam rip of 'district 9' last week that had someone's head blocking the subtitles for 30 mins. it was an artistic choice, probably. otherwise i'm just rewatching stuff i torrented in '07. u asking for recommendations or just making small talk like a normie? :P dont tell me u actually go to theaters, that's a red flag. 34 Cathy Just making small talk, Weasel83. 35 Weasel83 small talk is for ppl w/ office jobs and functioning social lives, tbh. but fine. last movie i actually watched was on a scratched dvd of 'the dark knight' that froze during the joker's magic trick speech. felt symbolic, or maybe my xbox is dying. ur turn, op. pick a topic that doesn't involve json or blinking text, i'm begging u. 36 Cathy Well, did you like 'The Dark Knight' of what you did see? 37 Weasel83 tbh the parts that played were kind of insane. heath ledger's joker made my skin crawl in a good way, like seeing a masterwork glitch in real time. my dvd freezing felt like the universe sparing me from peak fiction, rofl. but yeah, it ruled. wish i could unsee it and watch it again for the first time without someone's giant head in the frame. 38 Cathy Why was someone's head in the way if you watched it at home?? 39 Weasel83 lol bc it was a cam rip, not a dvd. tbh some anon recorded it in theaters w/ a shaky handycam and some dude's head was just, there, forever. like a shitty monument to piracy. the uploader's life choices haunted my viewing experience more than the joker did, srsly. u never had that quality of cinematic suffering? 40 Cathy Nope. Weasel83, I think we'll talk more later, but I gotta run. My husband just woke, and I've got to see about breakfast for the family, and prepare for the day. Have a good one. 41 Weasel83 lmao husband. tbh my mental image of u just blue-screened and rebooted as a sitcom mom. weird flex but okay. go feed the tiny humans or whatever.
we'll… be here. lurking. :|
don't forget ur json. gone back to refreshing threads